New Living Will Form

New Living Will Form

 

I, ___________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be

kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances

should my fate be put in the hands of dumb ass politicians who couldn't

pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or in doctors

interested in simply running up the medical bills indefinitely.

 

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least

one of the following:

 

______a Bloody Mary,

 

______a Margarita

 

______a Scotch and water

 

______a glass of wine

 

______a Vodka and Tonic

 

______a Steak

 

______Lobster or crab legs

 

______The remote control

 

______a Bowl of ice cream

 

______a round of golf

 

______Chocolate

 

______Sex

 

it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. I'm a dead sumbitch already.

 

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed

person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and

call it a day.

 

At this point it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to

come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise

their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

 

Signature: ___________________________

 

Date: ___________________________