New Living Will Form
New Living Will Form
I, ___________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be
kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances
should my fate be put in the hands of dumb ass politicians who couldn't
pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or in doctors
interested in simply running up the medical bills indefinitely.
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least
one of the following:
______a Bloody Mary,
______a Margarita
______a Scotch and water
______a glass of wine
______a Vodka and Tonic
______a Steak
______Lobster or crab legs
______The remote control
______a Bowl of ice cream
______a round of golf
______Chocolate
______Sex
it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. I'm a dead sumbitch already.
When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed
person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and
call it a day.
At this point it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to
come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise
their glasses to toast the good times we have had.
Signature: ___________________________
Date: ___________________________