Mr. Bean - The Swimsuit .....

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Mr Bean struggles with bathing suit

Boys used to think it was slick that a girl could take off her bra without undoing her shirt. If you have never seen that done, you have missed a special feat.  This is similar to that, but the funniest thing happens at the very end. A little humor from Mr. Bean. Watch!


 

Golf Lexicon

Text-lexicon
Golf has a wonderful history spanning over 400 years of funny names and interesting definitions. From the archaic terms of the Scots to modern colloquialism,  we have tried to develop the most complete Internet golf terms resource.  Our research indicates that most average golfers do not know the difference between a red stake and a yellow stake, let alone a niblick and a mashie. Even if your game is not up to par, you can still impress your foursome with your golf knowledge.

 

Ace:  A hole in one. Albatross:  Three strokes under par for a given hole.
American Links:  An American variation of the Links concept which incorporates trees, rolling terrain and grass expanses.
Approach Shot:  A relatively short shot played from off the green onto the green.
Apron:  The short fringe surrounding the green which isolates it from the fairway. It is cut shorter than the fairway but not as close as the green.
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Baffy:  Another name for a 4 wood or a small-headed high lofted wood.
Bail Out Area:  A particular zone adjacent to the green where errant shots are not as severely punished as other zones around the green. In the bail out area, recovery shots are made more easily.
Ball Mark:  The depression a ball landing on the green causes. Should be repaired with a ball mark repair tool.
Banana Ball:  An expression describing an extreme slice.
Barranca:  A dry ravine filled with desert shrubs and rocks.
Barkie:  When the ball hits any part of a tree and the golfer still completes the hole with a par.
Ben Hogan:  Universally known as the greatest ball striker of all time whose fundamentals of the grip and full swing are still widely regarded and taught by today's top teachers. Hogan was also known for his strength of will and the intimidation of his opponents.
Bent:  Species of fine grass used in cooler climates, known for its true putting surface.
Bermuda:  Species of coarse grass used in hot climates. Does not putt as true as bent grass and has a higher root system.
Birdie:  A score on a hole one less stroke less than par.
Bisque:  A handicap stroke given to an opponents who may nominate what hole to take it on. The hole must be determined prior to the match.
Blade:  The historic and traditional style of an iron clubhead with no perimeter weighting often used by the most skilled players. Also refers to modern muscleback designed irons.
Blade Shot:  When the upper part of the ball is struck by the edge of the club face causing it to hug the ground in flight.
Blast:  The material carried with the ball when it is hit out of a sand bunker. Also, to blast is another way of expressing an explosion bunker shot.
Bogey Golfer:  Defined specifically as a male golfer with a USGA Handicap Index of  17.5 to 22.4 strokes or a female golfer with a USGA Handicap Index of 21.5 to 26.4 strokes.
Bomber:  A golfer with excellent length off of the tee who sometimes lacks certain shot makings skills.  The opposite of a "plinker."
Borrow:  To compensate for the slope or undulations of a green when putting.
Bounce:  The amount of the flange of the club hanging below the leading edge of the club. The more bounce angle, the less the club is supposed to dig into the surface. Sand wedges typically have the most bounce of all clubs, a full 10 to 16 degrees of bounce, to help get the ball out of the trap.
Brassie:  Another name for a 2 wood or a lofted wood with a brass sole plate.
Break:  The turning of the golf ball during a putt because of surface variations like elevations.
Buggy:  Powered cart used to transport golfer and equipment around the course.
Bulger:  Ancient clubs made of wood after 1890 that resembles today's modern woods with a bulbous head which replaced the longnoses. Bulgers had slightly convex faces, hence the bulge.
Bump and Run:  To hit a golf ball onto the green from a short distance away with little loft and which rolls more than 75% of the way to the pin.
Burn:  Scottish for creek.
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Cape Hole:  A curving hole with water on the inside through to the green where cutting off the water will shorten the hole.
Cast:  A type of iron where molten medal alloys are poured into a mold which forms the club head. Allows more flexible clubhead designs like perimeter weighting.
Casual Water:  Water on the course that is not a water hazard (such as puddles after rain). Relief maybe taken when in casual water or if having to play over when on the green.
Cavity Back:  Means the back of the club head is hollowed out to varying degrees in a effort to redistribute the club head weight to other areas of the club. Usually made to promote forgiveness or to change the center or gravity of the club head.
Chili Dip:  When an attempted chip shot is struck well behind the ball so as to cause turf to be taken before the ball is stuck during this weak scooping action.
Chipper:  A now illegal club, resembling a putter with extra loft. Used by players who have difficulty chipping.
Chunk:  When the club strikes the ground well behind the ball.
Cleek:  An ancient, low lofted and narrow bladed iron often used for putting but also for long shots such as a 1 iron.
Colf:  Medieval Dutch for club. Perhaps the originator for the word "golf."
Collar:  The edge around a green or bunker, an apron.
Collection Area:  A specific area next to the green with very short fringe grass designed to "collect" errant shots.  Much wider than a simple apron or fringe which usually has some sort of slope involved. While not technically a hazard, higher handicaps often dread chipping or pitching from this lie.
Come Backer:  A putt made after the initial putt goes past the hole.
Compression:  The amount of resilience of a golf ball. Also, to compress the ball with the club implies that the ball is struck firmly and with good force.
Cord Grip:  A golf grip, typically made of rubber, which is infused with cotton strands which look like "cords" in the rubber.  While generally rougher on the hands than other grips, they are intended to give better grip in all weather conditions, especially in moist and wet conditions.
Course Rating:  The overall difficulty of a golf course under normal conditions for a scratch golfer.  The number is equal to the average of the better half of a scratch golfers scores.  Basically, if a par 72 golf course has a Course Rating of 73, it plays one stroke more difficult for the scratch golfer and it can be assumed, it also plays more difficult for the higher handicapped golfers.   The degree in which the higher handicap golfer will be affected can only be determined by using the Slope Rating.
Cross Bunker:  A bunker which dissects the line of play and must usually be carried.
Cut Shot:  To put side and backspin onto the ball when striking it so that the ball tends to fade. Shots hit into a green like this tend to hold greens better because they not only have back spin, but also some sidespin.
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Dance Floor:  Slang for the putting surface or green.
Divot:  A piece of turf that may come out from under your ball after during the swing caused by the club passing through the turf. Bent grass divots should be replaced but most Bermuda divots cannot be replaced.
Dormie:  Term given to describe the situation when a team cannot lose a match against the competition as the number holes remaining is the same as the current lead.
Double D:  When a driver is used on the fairway after being used for the tee shot.
Double Eagle:  Three shots under the hole par; also known as albatross.
Double Green:  A very large single green serving two holes with two cups cut into the same surface.  Big enough so that two groups can be putting simultaneously to their respective cups.
Down:  Number of stokes or holes you are behind your opponent
Draw:  To induce topspin onto the ball causing in to move from outside to in on your swing. A smaller and controlled hook. The opposite is a Fade.
Driving Iron:  A 1 or 2 iron which gives distance rather than height.
Driving Mashie:  An ancient driving iron.
Dub:  A miss hit shot in such a way that the ball travels only a very small portion of its intended distance.
Duck Hook:  To induce too much topspin onto the ball causing it hook and move from outside to in on your swing and also curve downward quickly.
Duffer:  An unskilled golfer.
Dunk:  When a ball lands in a water hazard.
Drop Shot:  A type of shot used to extract a ball from tall grass around a green.   The club is dropped down severely into the ball in an attempt to drive the ball out of the tall grass and upon the green.  The ball usually comes out will little spin.
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Eagle:  To score two under par for a hole.
Embedded Ball:  A ball which is stuck in its own pitch mark in the ground. It may be lifted and dropped without penalty except when the ball resides out of bounds or within a hazard.
English Links:  The original links style which incorporates steep pot bunkers, very tall rough, none or very few trees and the ability to putt from far off the green. Wind and weather conditions are part of the course design. St. Andrews is an example.
Executive Course:  A golf course with mainly par 3 and comparatively short par 4 holes.
Explode:  The material carried with the ball when it is hit out of a sand bunker.
Explosion Shot:  A type of shot where the club passes very forcefully at and under the ball from sand or heavy rough which causes the ball to jump out with no or very little actual contact between the ball and club face.
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Fade:  To induce backspin onto the ball causing it to travel through the air following inside to out swing. Often cause by an outside to inside swing. The opposite of a Draw. For right handed players, a ball curving away from the target in an arc to the right.
False Front:  A green which appears closer than it really is due its intentionally deceptive design.
Fat Shot:  When the club strikes the ground well behind the ball and then hits the ball, resulting in shortened distance.
Featherie:  Early golf balls with a core of compressed feathers inside a leather outer.
Fescue:  A type of grass commonly used in heavy rough areas which can grow to more than a yard high.
First Cut:  The rough adjacent to the fairway which is usually cut lower than the regular rough.
Flange:  The base of a club, the part that rests on the ground and projects back from the leading edge.
Flash-Faced Bunker:  High-lipped bunkers where the sand extends very high up the sides.  Usually requires more maintenance than other bunkers.
Flex:  The degree that a club's shaft bends upon impact with the ball.
Flex Point:  That part of a club's shaft which bends the most.  Typically, shafts with a lower flex point tend to have a higher launch angle or higher ball flight.  The opposite is true for higher flex points.
Flyer:  When a ball travels further than expected when using a given club, sometimes caused when playing from the rough or off a slope where the full amount of spin cannot be imparted to the ball.
Fore:  To cry "Fore" is to warn other players that your ball may hit them.  "Fore" or forward  being the area directly ahead.
Forecaddie:  One who directs golfers to their balls during competition.
Forged:  A club where the head is made from one piece of alloy/metal, compressed to increase the clubs density and minimize imperfections. A forged club purportedly gives a golfer more feeling and a pure strike at the ball but generally cost more and are often less forgiving due to limitations in design.
Forward Press:  The action of the hands prior to the commencement of the takeaway for a golf shot or putt. It typically involves a slight forward action of the hands toward the target in a modest wrist cocking motion. Not generally considered a golfing fundamental but more an elective move along the lines of a waggle which may assist in beginning the takeaway.
Four Ball:  Where two pairs of golfers play in match play against each other.
Fried Egg:  When a ball remains in its own pitch mark when landing in a bunker. To be half buried in the sand.
Fringe:  The short fringe surrounding the green which isolates it from the fairway.
Frog Hair:  The short fringe surrounding the green which isolates it from the fairway.
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Gap Wedge:  A wedge between the pitching and sand wedge which fills the "gap" in modern lofted clubs which can often have as much 2 1/2 clubs difference separating the sand and pitching wedge.
Gimmie:  When an opponent decides that it is not necessary to play the next shot, normally because you are close to the hole.
Go to School:  To study the travel of a previous putt to 'read' the green.
Gorse:  A many-branched spiny shrub having bright yellow flowers, common on waste lands and links style golf courses.
GPS:  Global Positioning System. When used on golf courses, it provides golfers detailed yardages which are accurate to within three yards of the target.
Grain:  The angle at which the grass on the green lies. Playing against it or with it affects the speed of the ball when putting.
Grass Bunker:  A grassy depression usually with heavy rough inside similar to a sand trap without the sand. Technically not a hazard in the same sense a sand bunker is.
Grassed Driver:  An ancient longnose fairway wood, made from wood that broke easily.
Green in Regulation:  The number of shots you are expected to play before getting your ball onto the green. Always two shots less than the par of the hole.
Greenie:  The getting of a par or better at a hole when the ball is got onto the green in regulation.
Grounding the Club:  To place the club on the ground prior to striking the ball when addressing it.
Grouse:  A species of bird that lives in tall grasses. Also, to complain or grumble.
Gutta Percha:  Rubbery material used to make golf balls after 1848.
Guttie:  A golf ball made of gutta percha which rendered Featheries obsolete.
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Hacker:  A poor golfer.
Halve A Hole:  In match play, refers to a draw when both opponents take the same number of shots to complete the hole and each side is credited with a half.
Halve A Match:  In match play, refers to a draw when both opponents have won the same number holes in the round.
Handicap:  The number of strokes a player is given to adjust his score to that of standard scratch. It allows golfers of different abilities to compete on approximately equal terms. Official Handicaps are calculated using a mathematical formula involving the slope and rating from the courses used to achieve the score.
Hanging Lie:  When the ball is resting on the upside of a slope and the golf addresses the ball from higher on the slope.
Hardpan:  Any compressed hard surface, devoid of grass.  Usually hard packed sand.   Plays differently from a normal bunker.
Haskel:  First incarnation of the modern golf balls with rubber straps wound around core encased in gutta percha. Rendered Gutties obsolete.
Hazard:  Any feature on the golf course which is intended to make play challenging or difficult. Hazards are considered part of the golf course and no relief is allowed in a hazard. Examples are bunkers, gorse grass and permanent water.
Heather:  Wispy, long grass which sometimes borders the rough.
Hit a Brick:  Expression used to encourage a ball to slow down and not go much past the cup when putting.
Hit a House:  see Hit a Brick
Hogan Grip:  A modified overlapping grip in which the pinkie finger of the low hand on the grip is hooked in between the index and second finger of the high hand. While Hogan did not invent this grip, he popularized it.
Hog's Back:  A fairway which is raised in the center causing balls to roll towards the rough on either side.
Hold:  Meaning a green is receptive to shots and discourages balls from rolling or bouncing off.
Hole High:  Means that the ball has landed on the green level with the hole as you are looking at it. That is, that ball is not past the pin nor is it in front of it, but rather, even with it, even though it may be left or right of the hole a good deal.
Hole Out:  To put the ball into the hole.
Home:  Getting the ball onto the green.
Honor:  The honor goes to last player to win a hole or take the least number of shots. The player with the honor tees off first.
Hooded Club:  Turning the club face slightly inward in order to hook the ball or prevent a slice.
Hook:  To induce topspin onto the ball causing it to move from outside to in on your swing. Often an exaggerated draw and its opposite is a slice.
Hooker:  A person whose predominate ball flight is a hook.
Hosel:  The socket or tube in which the shaft is inserted to make a connection with the club head.
Hosel Pfeffer: Colloquialism for a shank.  Pepper of the Hosel.  
Hustler:  One who maintains an artificially high handicap in order to win bets.
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Interlocking Grip:  The pinkie of the low hand on the grip hooks around a hooking index finger of the high hand.
Irish Links:  A variation of the links golf design that incorporates high mounding, tall grasses and blind shots.
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Jigger:  Another name for 4 iron. A moderately lofted, shallow faced ancient iron.
Jungle:  Colloquialism for Heavy Rough.
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Kitty Litter:  Colloquialism for sand bunker.
Kick Point:  A critical point on the shaft that is integral in determining the trajectory characteristics of the shaft. A high kick points generally causes a lower ball flights, a low kick helps hit the ball higher.  Same as "flex point"
Kirby Marker:  A type of yardage marker measured distances at 25 yard intervals on each side of a fairway to the center of the green.
Knock Down Shot:  A shot that is played intentionally to keep the trajectory lower than normal to "cheat" wind conditions. Usually made with a slightly shorter swing and often using a club with less than normal loft, which in turn causes the ball to spin less.
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Lag:  When a golfer attempts to putt the ball near to the hole not caring whether it goes in or not.
Lateral Water Hazard:  A water hazard defined by red stakes and usually parallel with the fairway. If the ball resides within this hazard, the ball may be played or the player may elect relief. Under relief, the player is assessed one stroke penalty, and may do one of the following: (1) play another ball from the original spot of the shot; or (2) drop a ball behind the hazard at any point keeping in line with where the ball last crossed the hazard and the hole itself.; or (3) drop a ball within two club lengths of and not nearer the hole than (i) where he ball last crossed the margin of the hazard or (ii) a point on the opposite margin of the hazard equidistant from the hole. See USGA Rule 26-1.
Lay Up Shot:  A shot played intentionally short of the green or hazard to avoid the risk of hitting into trouble.
Lie:  The condition of the ball position as the ball lays at rest upon the surface of the golf course.
Lie Angle:  The degree of uprightness a club has as the head sits flush to the ground. The angle of the shaft against the clubhead. Generally, taller players need more upright clubs with a greater lie angle while shorter players need flatter lie angles or smaller lie angle, relative to the standard lie angle.
Links:  Golf courses characteristically near the seaside of Scotland which have now been copied world over. The name has nothing to do with holes being linked together, rather, it is the area of land, which links the sea with the inner towns or fields. Old Scottish and English usage of the word implied rough open ground. Links golf courses are typically treeless with devilish bunkering which incorporate pot bunkers or sod faced bunkers. Links courses have heavy and tall rough grasses, sandy terrain or dunes and undulation in both fairway and rough.  The surface conditions are typically very firm encouraging many low running shots. The treeless nature and nearness to open water also makes wind a major component that must be dealt with.
Linksman:  A golfer.
Lip:  The edge of the hole.
Lob Shot:  A shot where the ball flies to maximum height and minimal distance, normally used to hit the ball from close range when trying to avoid an obstacle.
Local Rules:  Additional rules pertaining to a given course by the membership or the local course itself which are in addition to the official rules.
Loft:  The angle of the clubface in relation to the ground which dictates the trajectory of the ball as it rises in the air. 0 degrees loft is perpendicular to the ground. Also to hit a high shot.
Lofter:  A person who hits the golf ball a long way.
Long Nose:  An ancient Driver made prior to 1890 made mostly from wood and looking much like a hockey stick.  These clubs broke easily and were replaced by the Bulger in the mid 1800's.
Long Game:  That part of a golfer's game which involves hitting the ball over 200 yards  and utilization of the driver, fairway woods and other long clubs.
Long Irons:  The 2, 3 and 4 irons.
Loose Impediments:  Natural objects on the course which are not fixed into place such as stones. Generally, if they interfere with play, they may be removed except within a hazard.
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Mallet:  A putter shaped like a mallet.
Marshall:  One who controls the crowd during tournaments and may dispense rulings to players.
Mashie:  Old fashioned hickory shafted iron varieties of which were similar to today's 5,6 and 7 irons.
Mashie-Niblick:  An ancient club whose loft is between a Mashie and a Niblick, similar to a modern 8 iron.
Match:  A medal round or game of golf between opponents.
Match Play:  Form of competition where each hole is won, lost or halved. The winner is whoever won the most holes. A winning score of 3 and 2 means that the winner won by 3 holes with 2 left to play. The highest score possible is 10 and 8.
Medal Play:  A score play competition where all shots are recorded and the winner is the one who took the least number.
Meow:  Insulting cat call made toward opponents who leave putts well short.  
Middle Wedge:  A medal iron with loft between that of a pitching wedge and a sand wedge.
Mid-Iron:  Another name for a 2 iron in ancient clubs.
Mid-Mashie:  An ancient 3 iron.
Middle Irons:  The 5, 6 and 7 irons in modern sets.
Mixed Foursome:  Two teams of a male and female golfer playing alternate shots.
Mulligan:  When a player is allowed to reply any one shot per hole. Not permitted in official competition.
Muscleback:  A type of blade iron where a band of thicker iron crosses the back of an iron from left to right to promote mass behind the area of impact.
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Nature's Trick:  A modern expression which refers to the mental difficulty in selecting the correct club and trajectory when playing into or against the wind. There is a tendency, for instance, to swing harder when hitting into the wind.  However, swinging harder not only causes the ball to spin more, balloon and fall short, it also causes a poor swing, further compounding the "trick."  
Net Score:  A player's score after handicap deductions.
Niblick:  Another name for a 9 iron. At the time of its use, it characteristically had a shorter face than other clubs and was also concave like a spoon.
Nineteenth Hole:  The clubhouse bar after playing 18 holes.