The Gay Caballero - A Cute Joke

The Gay Caballero

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. 

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.
 
Two o'clock, and no hired hand.

He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting or him.

She quietly called him over to her.

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off." she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed.

"Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

"Now take off my stockings."

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra."

Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

"Now," she said, "take off my panties."

By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off. Ten she looked at him and said ,,,,,,,

(WAIT FOR IT - DRUM ROLL PLEASE)

"If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

 (think about it)


Truths For Mature Humans

Truths For Mature Humans

  1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

  2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

  3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

  4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

  5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

  6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

  7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

  8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

  9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? **** it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

24. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

25. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

26. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

27. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

28. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

29. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

30. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!